December 1st, 2009
Lose All Your Baggage
A simple way to help you become the Dad you want to be
For new and about-to-be Dads, there’s a whole crop of books that offer monumental statements (“It’ll be the greatest adventure of your life!”) mixed in with a few funny Hey-I’m-doing-the-best-I-can stories. While the overall quality of these new guides is pretty high, there’s one piece of advice from The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Being a New Dad that stands out.
Ready? Think back to your childhood and make a “Pro” and “Con” list of things you associate with your Dad. What’s on your “Pro” list? Is it about getting some toy that you threw a fit about? Probably not. Those early-evening games of catch or hiking trips hold a lot more weight. Study those positive memories and strive to bring those into your family life.
And what if your Dad wasn’t that great of a guy? Then have a close look at the “Con” side and focus on not making the same mistakes. It’s easy to fall into the familiar patterns of our parents without even realizing it, so if you’re able to stop just one of those bad behaviors, you’ve already become a better Dad.
Don’t worry about trying to be perfect; instead, treat this as a chance to re-examine your own relationship with your Dad, and to pass along those one or two things that your kids will treasure.